Mermaid, Me

mermaid

To many men, I’ve been told I’m like a mermaid.  Like Captain Ahab’s white whale, I’m the object of their quest.

But do they realize that mermaids don’t have cunts?  I don’t either.

Maybe that’s what makes us all so alluring… mysterious… so desirable… so unattainable…. so….

Unfuckable?  Maybe…. Maybe not….  Hmmmm…..

Without a vulva, much less a vagina, what do we have?  How in the world can we make true love to you?

What we do have — what do you call it?  Does it sound better, sexier, than the word “cunt?”

Please take the Poll and tell me.

 

Modeling School: More Important in “Transitioning” Than Estrogen Therapy!

Courage = Grace Under Pressure...thanks to Jimmy Choo....

Courage = Grace Under Pressure…thanks to Jimmy Choo….

“Within five seconds of meeting someone, either in business, at school, or socially, you make a critical first impression.  That impression is made up of the following:

55% Appearance.

38% How You Sound.

7% What You Say.

Our modeling school has recognized the importance of a first, and last impression, for 60 years…teaching self-development (finishing) and fashion modeling.

14-week course: Visual Pose/Graceful Movements, Beautyworks.  Wardrobe and Fashion.  Social Graces/Communications.”

The best $1,525 I ever spent!

Even if it can’t buy Love, Money sure helps with Beauty!

The black hat I wear when cleaning out my desk...can't afford to be sentimental!

The black hat I wear when cleaning out my desk…can’t afford to be sentimental!

Rhinoplasty $4,500

Lip Lift $2,000

Corner Mouth Lift w/ extension $1,500

Tracheal (Adam’s Apple) Shave $500

Cheek Implants $3,200

Just uncovered these old bills in all my clutter.  Before I toss in the round file, I thought I’d share.   BTW, I got a big discount for doing all the procedures pretty much at the same time!

Remembrance of Pain Past….

decafashion4

“I really like your scent,” volunteered the woman standing next to me waiting in line at the ATM machine.  “May I ask what it is?”

Before I could answer “L’air du Temps,” my mind churned with possible implications.  Was she sincere?  Or did she suspect something?  Her seemingly innocent question simply bait, to catch me, the pretender, the ersatz female, the alien in society’s midst?  And my still masculine voice would unmask me?

I smiled, whispered “thank you,” opened my handbag, lifted out the perfume bottle, and smiled again.  Show and tell.  Or show and not tell.

It’s hard now to really remember, much less communicate, all the little, terror-inducing episodes like this when I first came out as a woman, trying to “pass” and not get “read.”  When I did pass, it was exhilarating, the equivalent of getting straight A’s in school, winning the lottery, coming in first in a talent contest, getting the promotion plus huge salary increase, all rolled into one.  But the times I failed were worst than F’s; I remember them still as if a recurring nightmare.

Children and drunks: those were the worst.  Those are the ones any new Tgirl has to watch out for.  They never mince words, never afraid to report, often loudly, what they see — making even the most casual stroll down the street turn into terror.  “Look, it’s a man!”

Saving the World, One Horny Man at a Time

Super Heroine...that's me!

Should I change my name to Emma Frost?

Super Heroine, that’s me!  Really, I’m going to save the world!  Well, not just me, but all us Tgirls!  Here’s how:

I’ll never – can’t ever! – get pregnant!!

Sex with me is consequence free.  Totally!

That means zero population growth!  Totally awesome!

Instead of the projected 10 billion people gobbling up Planet Earth’s finite natural resources…and fouling our own nest…we can happily fuck away forever.

Added bonus: As a simple sex-for-the-sake-of-sex machine, I’ll never get fat and have stretch marks.

Men I Have Known: Chapter 2

Shaping more than my brows....

Shaping more than my brows….

My very first lover, he was the most judgmental.

It started with my hair.  Too short, he said.

Then my brows.  Untamed, too bushy, he said.

My chest, too flat, of course – he didn’t have to tell me.

Finally…finally…I became what he desired.

And then I killed him.

Sometimes now, in my vanity mirror, I can see his stare still, for his eyes belong to me, you see.  The “he” was once me.  It was he who shaped me…and not just my brows!

Men I Have Known: Chapter 1

Now that I'm respectable, I can reflect....

Looking “respectable” belies my memories….

The turning of the New Year invites reflection; and the thought occurs that time’s passage has, for me, been punctuated not with the ticking of clocks or turning of calendar pages but, rather, with all the different lovers I’ve known.  “Lovers” might be too grand a word, for many of these men I’ve known, when I was escorting, for only an hour or so.  And some I’ve come to know now only virtually, via the Internet.

Whatever I call them, they are someone else’s son, brother, father, boyfriend, husband even.  It’s said that, no matter how intimate, you can never really, really know someone.

So I may not be privy to the day-to-day life of the man sitting across from you at the dinner table right now, but I know his secrets, things you’ll never know.

Take Bukkake Bob, for instance.  That’s what I called him, and not just behind his back.  I made him laugh (not just cum).

All he wanted to do was splash his hot, gooey ejaculate all over my face and titties.  I didn’t have to do anything — not even suck — just kneel there, with my face uplifted and smiling expectantly.  Sometimes I would wag my tongue (this was long before Miley Cyrus’s iconic move) to gesture how much I wanted it, craved it — to feel and taste the splash of his cum.

Once a week, like clockwork, we would meet to perform this ritual, sometimes in my apartment, sometimes in a motel room, sometimes in his huge SUV.

Then one evening, when I had on a lot of makeup (for I was to go on a fancy dinner date with another guy an hour later), I tilted my head ever so slightly just as Bob shot his wad.  So most of what he shot ended up on the floor.

“What happened?” His scream sounded truly anguished.

“I didn’t want to totally ruin my makeup, sweetie.”  I said matter-of-factly.

“Well, you’ve now ruined everything,” he announced, and I never saw him again.

What more can I say?

Tribute to a Selfie

He must love me!

….more expressive than words?

Maybe I shouldn’t admit this, but…

When a fan sent me a so-called Tribute Picture – my recent blog’s photographic image splattered with his cum – I found it a bit of a turn-on. No, not as much of a turn-on as he had no doubt felt (unlike my mystery man, I didn’t ejaculate!), but still…. Yes, I could sense my Big Clitty stiffening slightly against my fashionably tight-fitted leggings.

Why, I wonder?

I’m not being kissed, not being fondled, not even hearing sweet nothings whispered in my ear.  Moreover, except for his digital moniker and Facebook image, I don’t even know who he is.  Tall, dark and handsome?  I haven’t a clue.

And yet…and yet…we’re now lovers of a sort, aren’t we, my admirer and me?

I guess back in the day of girlie magazines, the models fully expected the printed pages of their photographic poses to be splattered with sperm — splashed and smudged by readers ranging from teenaged virgins to dirty old men.  But these girls never actually saw the physical result.  Today everything is different….

Maybe the Tribute Picture is the natural, inevitable companion of the Selfie.  Both shot alone, now together at last.  True love in this digital age!

Yes, he must love me!

Yes, he must truly love me!

Rite of Passage

Please don't squeeze too hard....

Please don’t squeeze too hard….

Like any rite of passage, the pleasure comes only after the pain.  The pain of dreading it, actually doing it, getting through it.  Then the pleasure of having done it — the most pleasing sense of accomplishment and acceptance that only this particular rite can bring.

I’m talking about my very first mammogram!  Here are some totally random thoughts I’ll now share:

The nurses, technician and radiologists weren’t sadists.  Instead, they were genuinely caring helpmates, as only other women can be.  (Sorry if I’m being sexist!)

I’m so, so happy that I didn’t get implants until after a couple of years of estrogen therapy.  If my implants were any bigger, I’m sure they would have burst during the procedure!

As my breasts were being flattened by the machine — first one and then the other — I encouraged my thoughts to wander — to distract me from the pain.  What better thoughts than erotic fantasies!

So I imagined now in the room with me a lover (or maybe several lovers!) who normally fondled and kissed and licked and suckled my titties. But now he was using a machine to vicariously (and forcefully!) “caress” my breasts. It gave him intense pleasure to see just how tight my breasts could be squeezed!

Thinking this thought — do I dare admit? — I felt something getting ever so slightly hard in my panties.  And I smiled.

“Tighter! Tighter!” he commanded.  And the harder and harder I got.

Yes, I smiled.  The medical personnel complimented me on how incredibly brave I was.

Bureaucratic Confusion!

Too glamorous for a Passport picture?

Too glamorous for a Passport picture?

We all remember that famous story about “The Man Without a Country.”

But what about a Sexual Being Without a Gender?

The Embassy and the local authorities are all atwitter about my Visa renewal….  My name’s been legally changed, but my official sex has not.

Maybe to get all the boring paperwork expedited, I’ve have to give all the bureaucrats each a blowjob!?!

Maybe then they’ll know I’m really a girl….  If I suck like a girl and fuck like a girl, then I must be a girl, right?