Like a Virgin: Part 2

I'm ready, please, and so is my ass....

I’m ready, so please do what must be done to my pussy ass….

I can remember the moment precisely, the exact words that came out of my mouth when my shrink began our regular weekly session by asking how I was feeling:

“I need to be filled.”

The words just spilled out of my mouth.   I hadn’t rehearsed, I hadn’t reflected.   Never had I acknowledged this feeling, much less articulated it:

Yes, I wanted — indeed, needed! — to be fucked in the ass.

Until that moment, this carnal desire was a well-maintained secret, especially to me.  My consciousness always felt a disdain, disgust even, toward anal sex.  It seemed to have about as much appeal as a prostate exam or colonoscopy.   Plus it was dirty.

But now, having lived full-time as a woman and ingested girlie hormones for nearly a year, I suddenly felt empty, incomplete.  Not psychologically, but physically.   Deepthroating — which I loved! — would never satisfy my hunger.  I needed something more, much more.

The shrink always looked especially wise when he nodded, and he was now nodding vigorously.  “What do you mean exactly?” he didn’t have to ask.  Not only did he understand, but also I was apparently validating all his long-held theories about male-to-female transsexuals.

So it was that, with the good doctor’s tacit encouragement, I began my anal experiments: tampons, butt plugs, beads, dildos, enemas, lubricants….

My boyfriend at the time, very patient and practiced, helped.   The fact that he had a so-enormous-it-was-scary cock helped, too, curiously enough.  Sure, it was plenty painful, particularly at first.

But I can’t begin to communicate how incredibly exciting it was to keep the visual image of his huge, thick, hard cock in my mind while he plowed me.

Like a Virgin: I Wish!

Girlfriends make the truest co-conspirators!

Girlfriends make the truest co-conspirators!

Who knows if I’ll ever actually get married? To be legit in a lot of places, I’d have to have a sex-change first. In the meantime, a girl who was born a boy can play make-believe bride all she likes, right? And without the heavy commitment of real wedding vows!

“Blushing bride” is the fantasy I play most and best. With a little bit of help from my giggling girlfriends — I mean, bride’s maids!  We get my hair done, try on gowns….  And all my intimate apparel must be in the purest white, of course.

For in this fantasy, this one-act play, I’m always a virgin!

It brings back the most delightful, almost childlike, memories: recalling the anticipation as much as the act!  To be fucked for the very first time in my Tgirl pussy (i.e., my ass!).  I knew it would be painful probably; how much, I had no idea.  Would the designated groom be gentle, a good teacher?

Anxiety mixed with excitement is an erotic elixir!   And what innocent sense of wonder: would I discover such pleasure as I never knew before, so that henceforth I could never be fucked enough?

The answer is obviously a resounding yes!  That’s why, even though proud slut that I am, I’ll still always be a make-believe virgin!

e[lust] erotica digest

May162013

 

featured photo of the month

Photo courtesy of A Penny for Your Dirty Thoughts

Welcome to e[lust] – The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust].  Want to be included in e[lust] #47? Start with the newly updated rules, come back June 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

 

How to Shave Your Asshole

Tied and Blindfolded

Why Disney is like BDSM

 

 ~ Featured Posts (Molly’s Picks) ~

Because you are so beautiful

Suspension of Disbelief

 

~ Readers Choice from  Sexbytes ~

 Dildology: The Science of Sex Toys

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

 

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

The Vagina Thief
The Role of Feelings in Swinging Lifestyle
Why I Feel No Jealousy
Spontaneous
I Asked SilverHubby to Respond to a Comment
Mastering Masturbation in 7 Steps
The One Where I Face Reality

 

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

The Cycle of Change, Simplified
My IMsL 2013 Keynote

 

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Kink of the Week #5: Roleplay
How To find (and catch) a Male Submissive
How to be a Good female Sub
The Master’s Voice
Kink of the Week #5: Roleplay
“S&M: The Dark Side of Gay Liberation”, 1975
PolyAnna’s Musings: Choosing Revisited
KOTW-Roleplay: W’s Perspective
Brat-tastic!
Liberating the Fisherman’s Wife
How much realism should be in BDSM erotica?

 

Erotic Fiction

Sunday Morning
Warehouse 69 Episode 2: The Marquis’ Crop
Sunday Morning
Salivate
Suffer
Bend Over, Bad Kitty! 
Dirty Sexy Money
Lolita Twenty-Thirteen, Part Four

 

Erotic Non Fiction

My First MMF Threesome
That Smile
What Wet Dreams are Made Of…..
A Good Match
I was a Naughty Girl
Jets
Right Here. Now.
I fantasize about blowjobs & being a good girl

 

Poetry

Things to Wear – NaPoWriMo
Blood Lust
A poem for Rose
Vanishing
Colorless
Subby Space

 

Blogging

Look at Me!

 

 elustbutton200

Is Sexting Sexy?

Do you like my hair color?

Do you like my hair color?

All bodies are, of course, flawed (especially mine!).  Is that why I never pose totally nude for the camera?  Maybe.  But more:

It’s easier to be sexier when partially — indeed, even fully — clothed.  I’m not saying anything new, of course.  So the question is: why do guys I hardly even know keep sending me digital close-up’s of their penises?

If they’re simply exhibitionists, I could understand.  But most of them apparently think it’s the equivalent of sending me a dozen red roses — a way to win me over, seduce me, make me want to suck and fuck them.

It’s become a pet peeve of mine — these penis pictures.  Oh, how I long for a suggestive photo of an ever hardening bulge in an attractive man’s well-tailored pants!  Now, that’s something I could happily imagine wrapping my mind — and my lips! — around.

“Imagine” is the operative word.  Leaving some things to the imagination is what the very best, most erotic, sex is all about.  Frisson, anticipation, creative tension, stories to be told, narratives to be developed, yearning/longing to be explored, bodies to be made beautiful.

So “upskirt” I’ll do — and I’ll have fun doing it, flashing a crotch shot while clad in a chic bodysuit.  But a clinical, pantyless, between-the-legs close-up — no thanks!  I’ll spare you.

Fantasy Girl!

Of course, girls like horseback riding!

Of course, girls like horseback riding, silly!

A fantasy girl, that’s me, according to a lot of guys.  I’m “that girl with something extra!”  — the description alone can make those same guys drool.

But what about me?  Can’t I have fantasies, too!  Sex objects are people, too, aren’t we?  So here goes:

I want to be fucked by a stallion.  That’s not to say that I haven’t already been fucked by lots of guys who consider themselves human stallions.  (Some were, some weren’t…but that’s a discussion for another time.)

I’m talking about a real stallion.  Yes, a horse!   A horse, of course!

Isn’t that what they say Catherine the Great did?  And some people would call me a queen (of the queer kind), right?

But to be honest and practical, I’m sure I’m simply not big enough to actually take the cock of a horse.  I would probably be split in half and painfully killed.

Still, it’s fun to imagine — to fantasize about….

And the fantasy wouldn’t be complete without a lot of horny guys standing around watching me and the horse go at it.  Their eyes popping out — marveling at the size of the horse and my ability to take it — as the ever hardening bulges in their pants pop out, too.

I’m resigned that my fantasy will never actually happen.  So I must content myself with traditional horseback riding.  That feels good, too (any girl must admit!), so good, with my legs tightly wrapped around the leather saddle.  And, in case you didn’t know, the pommel of the saddle works just like a high-powered vibrator!

Horny guys can still watch (and drool) as I post and canter, with my crotch sliding hard against the pommel and my hips going up and down, up and down, up and down, clad in the skin-tightest of jodhpurs cum scrumptious boots.  Up and down….