Men I Have Known: Chapter 1

Now that I'm respectable, I can reflect....

Looking “respectable” belies my memories….

The turning of the New Year invites reflection; and the thought occurs that time’s passage has, for me, been punctuated not with the ticking of clocks or turning of calendar pages but, rather, with all the different lovers I’ve known.  “Lovers” might be too grand a word, for many of these men I’ve known, when I was escorting, for only an hour or so.  And some I’ve come to know now only virtually, via the Internet.

Whatever I call them, they are someone else’s son, brother, father, boyfriend, husband even.  It’s said that, no matter how intimate, you can never really, really know someone.

So I may not be privy to the day-to-day life of the man sitting across from you at the dinner table right now, but I know his secrets, things you’ll never know.

Take Bukkake Bob, for instance.  That’s what I called him, and not just behind his back.  I made him laugh (not just cum).

All he wanted to do was splash his hot, gooey ejaculate all over my face and titties.  I didn’t have to do anything — not even suck — just kneel there, with my face uplifted and smiling expectantly.  Sometimes I would wag my tongue (this was long before Miley Cyrus’s iconic move) to gesture how much I wanted it, craved it — to feel and taste the splash of his cum.

Once a week, like clockwork, we would meet to perform this ritual, sometimes in my apartment, sometimes in a motel room, sometimes in his huge SUV.

Then one evening, when I had on a lot of makeup (for I was to go on a fancy dinner date with another guy an hour later), I tilted my head ever so slightly just as Bob shot his wad.  So most of what he shot ended up on the floor.

“What happened?” His scream sounded truly anguished.

“I didn’t want to totally ruin my makeup, sweetie.”  I said matter-of-factly.

“Well, you’ve now ruined everything,” he announced, and I never saw him again.

What more can I say?

Shemale Schooling: Makeup and Cum Can Mix!

makeupDear Mistress Joy, Your Ladyship:

When men cum on my face, it makes a horrible mess of my make-up. So in order to still look pretty while sucking still more cock, I have to interrupt everything, ruining the romance, in order to run into the bathroom and take valuable time rebuilding my foundation! By the time I return, the cock is often no longer hard. What can I do?

Joy’s Gems (of Wisdom):
If cum on your face is creating a mud-like mess, obviously you’re using a lot of foundation! Which, of course, is necessary if you didn’t start ingesting girlie hormones until after puberty and your electrolysis or laser treatments are still incomplete. (I wonder if the guys giving you facials appreciate how expensive and pain-in-the-ass these treatments are, to eliminate one’s beard to make one’s face more fuckable!)

Anyway, the key variable is not how much foundation you use — but how you apply it.  No matter how much residue roughness you need to hide, you just don’t want to slap and cake liquid foundation all over your face. Remember your makeup basics: Less is more!

Start with a very light base. Don’t smear it all over your face. Rather, apply from the tips of your fingers tapping gently until your face is covered. Then when dry, use a big fluffy brush to dust powder on that first layer of foundation.

Then keep layering and layering and layering: thin coats of foundation followed by dustings of powder. It takes time and patience; but the result is so polished, your feminine face will look like a runaway model’s.

And it will retain that polished look even with gobs of cum all over your face. The trick is not to smear the cum — but to let it dry and cake over your makeup. To prevent huge globs of cum from trickling down your face before they dry, simply dab them with a tissue to remove the excess. Dab!  Don’t rub, wipe, and smear!

Then, to go out in public with subtle spots of dried cum dotting my face — I find incredibly sexy! And all the other girls become so, so jealous. They all want to be shemales!

Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, I’ve Got Cum in My Tummy

Dr. Atkins should approve. But I wonder how many others would endorse it. Would you? Would you try it with me? I’m talking about the new all-protein, low-calorie, cum-only diet I’ve just discovered. Like many amazing discoveries, it happened purely by chance. At the time I was giving throatpussy. That’s what my boyfriend of the … Continue reading

The Irony of It All

514_456678077706839_1520584169_nIf our eyes are windows into our soul, what do they say about us when they’re clouded in cum? Such was my freak-out when that first happened to me (cum-in-the-eyeball, see previous post) that I went to the nearby free clinic to be tested for HIV…again…and again. Each time I would have to tell the clinic workers, who were used to working with sex workers, why I wanted to be tested. Didn’t I insist that all my so-called boyfriends wear condoms? Of course, I replied, slightly insulted (I wasn’t stupid!).

So I would have to repeat my embarrassing tale of how I got a big wad of cum in my right eye, initially blurring my vision, stinging a bit, and making me worry like hell. Since the eyeball is covered in a moist membrane (right? I couldn’t remember my high school biology specifics), wouldn’t that transmit the deadly virus just like other delicate avenues into the body?

An anus of an eye? A vagina of the visual cortex? When worried sick, think up outrageous metaphors!

“You’re funny,” the nurse said. “I always like working with girls like you. You all have such a wonderful, outlandish sense of humor.”

“You’re not making me feel better,” I said.

“Well, sweetie, I really don’t think you have to worry. I’ve never heard of HIV being contracted this way. We’ll have the test results back in a week.”

She paused. I nodded.

“In the meantime, next time, why don’t you try just wearing glasses!”

Health Concerns

The first time I got cum in my eyes I freaked out. Actually, it was just one eye, but that was enough to get me to jump off my knees, run into the bathroom, and start madly splashing cold water on eye. Not exactly romantic, and of course my makeup was now a mess.

And poor Robert! (Was that his real name?) From his moment of triumphant climax, he now felt bad. But not as bad as I did!

Would the millions of tail-wiggling sperm start burying into my eyeball? Possibly worse, did he have some STD that would now be transmitted through the porous moisture of my eyeball? (He had pulled the condom off right before ejaculation, simultaneously extracting the wonderfully hard cock from my throat and lips.)