The latest sexting scandal to involve New York mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner (what an unfortunate name!) means that more and more perplexed women are asking me to help them understand “what’s up” with men and their penises. Here’s what I say:
Imagine you’ve just stepped out of the shower, your hair shampooed, conditioned, and rinsed…and…and…
And you can’t get your stupid blow-dryer to work! No matter what electrical outlet you try, you’re frustrated. You stomp around the house…not one of the outlets works!
That’s what it’s like to have a penis! You’re constantly looking for a place to plug it in. (I wish I could take credit for that wonderful imagery, but I heard it from a stand-up comedian a while ago.) It’s the best explanation I have when genetic girls (GG’s) ask me what it’s like to have a penis.
In theory, a special girl like me (who still has a penis!) would possess some kind of profoundly unique wisdom — and so could act as an honest broker in the endless war between the sexes. But since my cock has always seemed to act just like a Big Clitty, I don’t know how much help I can really be.
Still, I’ll try…. so in coming posts I’ll share all my most private penis secrets. I promise!