Is Sexting Sexy?

Do you like my hair color?

Do you like my hair color?

All bodies are, of course, flawed (especially mine!).  Is that why I never pose totally nude for the camera?  Maybe.  But more:

It’s easier to be sexier when partially — indeed, even fully — clothed.  I’m not saying anything new, of course.  So the question is: why do guys I hardly even know keep sending me digital close-up’s of their penises?

If they’re simply exhibitionists, I could understand.  But most of them apparently think it’s the equivalent of sending me a dozen red roses — a way to win me over, seduce me, make me want to suck and fuck them.

It’s become a pet peeve of mine — these penis pictures.  Oh, how I long for a suggestive photo of an ever hardening bulge in an attractive man’s well-tailored pants!  Now, that’s something I could happily imagine wrapping my mind — and my lips! — around.

“Imagine” is the operative word.  Leaving some things to the imagination is what the very best, most erotic, sex is all about.  Frisson, anticipation, creative tension, stories to be told, narratives to be developed, yearning/longing to be explored, bodies to be made beautiful.

So “upskirt” I’ll do — and I’ll have fun doing it, flashing a crotch shot while clad in a chic bodysuit.  But a clinical, pantyless, between-the-legs close-up — no thanks!  I’ll spare you.

About Joy Saint James

Day job in Big Banking. Elsewhere I'm @ScholarlySlut, whose essays and erotica have appeared in various print anthologies and websites. Email:

2 responses to “Is Sexting Sexy?

  1. Thank you for writing this, Joy. I’ve had a problem with this for a long time, mainly with guys but also with some of the ladies who also want post photos of the their genitals without their face included. I don’t mind seeing private parts as long as the public ones are included. Anonymous genital photos are worthless IMHO and I’ve no problem with your position of not wanting to share such intimate shots with strangers. A little mystery adds to erotic nature of photos.

  2. Al

    As always, you have extraordinary depth of understanding. It is the mind or the “psyche” that is the true key to the satiation of human lust, love and sexuality.
    The “hard on” while not unimportant is the lowest common denominator and physical manifestation of proof of contact. Obviously a lot of men believe a snap shot of their hard cock will result in reciprocity of desire and provide a direct path to you.
    I can not and have no desire to pretend that I don’t have the same response to you as the guys that send proof of arousal I assume you already know this.
    In fact simply seeing your name in my in box will prove the mind body connection! Yes, just an email from you makes me “ready”. This is because in all your writing and communication has made you intensely desirable and in reality I have no idea what you actually look like. At this point it does not matter. You are intensely desirable and sexually ideal because you bring a sort of tantric continuous state of arousal to my life.
    You have flaws? Flaws are subjective and I assume much more intense for a women who’s physical identity has been such a strong barrier to who you are to the rest of the world. I think this is why I am so often attracted to “TG women” who have evolved to acceptance. Women who really know and accept who they are rare and beautiful.
    I love the idea and reality of you. I love that I will one day be able to possibly satisfy the animal lust you have created in me. I make no assumptions you will want to reciprocate but the simple possibility makes me delightfully crazy!
    OK I am drifting and I will get back to the point. Guys think their cocks are like some magic irresistible key to possessing your lust. It rarely works but many guys just don’t get the real picture (pun fully accepted).
    You are very beautiful and I have little doubt you are attractive as well. I promise you that there is nothing for you to hide. You are amazing as you are.
    I have no pictures to send. I hope that’s OK?

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