To say I’m a sex object is like admitting I’m a zombie. Not an oxymoron exactly, but how can an object have self-knowledge? How can it even know that it’s an object? As for zombies, one of the classic definitions is “bereft of consciousness and self-awareness.” Just an animated corpse, right? I don’t know why I’m going on a riff about zombies when the subject (and object!) is sex, but anyway….
Hey, babe, how R U? “Ping” goes the sound signaling a new instant message on my laptop. So annoying: I must get hundreds a day, and if I try just ignoring them, the senders’ desire only intensifies and the pings grow more insistent.
Woke up thinking of you, baby, my cock so hard. Another ping, different sender.
Bisou chère! Yet another ping. Anyway….
Most of my friends and followers are guys, of course. “Followers” – that sounds so creepy, doesn’t it? But no, surely it’s a positive thing, this term, with a meaning more like fans than stalkers. And my fan base is truly global. Anyway….
I don’t have a bimbo’s clue how it all works, with its computerized algorithms and whatnot. All I know is that it does works. Facebook, I’m talking about. Just to take my smartphone and snap a self-shot in the bathroom mirror and post it on my timeline – saying something fatuous like, “In my new demi-bra and matching panty from Victoria’s Secret getting ready for work….” – and suddenly I have a score of new friend requests.
I want to ravish you! Another message goes ping.
Yes, I admit it, I’ve fashioned myself into a sex object. If that’s what it takes to get attention, then, yes, I proudly proclaim: I’m a sex object! Plus, I must confess that it’s an incredibly good sensation — to know I’m so desired — as if I’m having sex 24/7. It makes you feel so alive, truly alive, just the opposite of a silly zombie, right?
Already, in the six months I’ve been on Facebook, I have over 4,000 friends and thousands more followers. I sometimes wonder how my life would be different if only I had gotten on Facebook sooner. But like a lot of women who preferred to use their leisure time curled up with a good novel or flipping through the pages of a fashion magazine, I had smugly scorned the whole notion of what’s called “social media.” Which seemed to have about much relevance to my real life as a zombie (there’s that word again!) or something equally outlandish.
Now everything has changed….