For a “normal” girl, which comes first: menstruation or getting your ears pierced? What if, as in my unfortunate case, the former never happens? Does that mean I’ll never be a woman? In which said case, piercing will have to do.

So getting your ears pierced becomes perhaps the most important rite of passage for special girls like me.

It’s fitting, of course, because being pierced is not unlike getting fucked for the first time. Poking a hole in my earlobe = breaking my imaginary hymen!

But the beauty of piercing is that I got to lose my “virginity” a number of times! The very first time, well before my “Sweet Sixteen,” I cajoled a jewelry store clerk to use one of those piercing guns on me.

The fearful yet pleasurable anticipation was so exciting, I can remember it still. Even more exciting: I wasn’t too young not to conjure up delicious metaphors: the cock-like gun, the darting dildo….

By nightfall, when I had to be back home, I had removed the temporary plugs designed to keep my new holes from healing. And I covered the tiny red spots on my earlobes with makeup foundation and concealer.

No one knew.

And one day no one would know – I could only dream – that I wasn’t really a girl. And I would be fucked for real.  One day.  Yes, one day my Prince would cum.