The Ethical Slut

Do I or don't I?  Tell, that is.

Do I or don’t I? Tell, that is.

The handsome guy is ogling you, especially your boobs.

“They’re not real!”  You blurt out, followed by the sheepish explanation: “I got implants last year.”

I think all would agree that’s a stupid thing to volunteer, right?  Stupid, but maybe also the right thing to do?  For it would be ethically wrong not to reveal that which is false about you?

Without getting into the philosophical question of what’s really “real” nowadays, I do want to ask:

What’s the right thing to do for a Tgirl who passes?  Stay “stealth,” or feel morally obligated to announce to any would-be admirer:  “I”m not really real.  My clit is really big and looks like a cock.”

My girlfriends — they’re both real friends and real girls — think I should always play stealth.  They think it’s fun when we go clubbing.

What do you think?

About Joy Saint James

Day job in Big Banking. Elsewhere I'm @ScholarlySlut, whose essays and erotica have appeared in various print anthologies and websites. Email:

7 responses to “The Ethical Slut

  1. Great post that raises a very interesting question which has multiple answers, depending on the situation.

  2. So situational ethics!!! isn’t that always a cop out?

  3. hisham

    joy u r a beautiful woman

  4. Al

    I think some guys are so homophobic that they would freakout and possibly be dangerous if they even so much as kissed a Tgirl and found out after the fact.
    Obviously I would be delighted to make this discovery but many guys don’t get it at all. If you are a women to me then you are not a man and what your genitalia look like are not what make you a women to me. It’s a simple principle but not that clear to so many. I am not into guys but I love women and that includes Tgirls, cross dressers and any attractive human that appeals to me. Maybe some day that will include guys but I think that would have happened already if it were gong to.
    As far as implants go, well if they make the right guy look they are the real enough!

  5. Tina Rose

    I spent some time thinking about this. Can be a tricky call sometimes, but in the end I think you need to tell. In the end you only have your word, and it need to mean something.

    My profile pic attracts many men, and with good reason. (But she is not me, just a dream.)
    Anyway, sometimes I flirt a bit with them, and maybe lead them on a bit too much, not meaning any harm. But I think that even here, before things go to far, they should know. If it ruins their fantasy, so be it. If not, all the better. I can still face myself in the mirror, and maybe see some of her there. 🙂

  6. I would say it all depends on the situation and the person your dealing with at the time.

  7. Pervertically Virtuous

    I think you should tell before it’s about to get physical. For flirting, coming out is not necessary, but if the guy is about to kiss you/have sex with you/go home with you to have sex, he should know beforehand.

    Unless all you wanna do is give him a blowjob of course 🙂

    The first, and so far only, Tgirl I’ve hooked up with took this approach. I met her and her boyfriend at a swinger party, liked them a lot, started dancing and flirting with them heavily, and once we started talking about going back to their place, the boyfriend said: “Z, you need to know that Y is a Tgirl. We totally understand if you’re not OK with that.” I, of course, was ecstatic. 🙂

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