Dirty Little Secret

tampon trainer Serendipity! Think of how many splendid things happen in life because of serendipity! Sort of like Kismet…. So much better and more romantic than mere biological necessity….

I remember it as if yesterday, every detail, told and retold in my mind so often that it’s become myth-like in my creation: the first time, the very first time, I bought tampons!

Why, oh why, would a “special girl” like I ever need to buy tampons?  Wrong question.  As with any unnatural act or unspeakable practice, it has very little to do with “need.”  Rather, the correct frame is this: Why would I WANT to buy tampons? And the answer to that is really quite easy:

It happened in my early days of transitioning, always watchful that I wouldn’t “pass,” when one afternoon I was pushing a shopping cart full of necessities at the local grocery store and caught out of the corner of my eye an older woman staring at me. I didn’t acknowledge her gaze, but, instead, pretended to read the various yogurt labels in the refrigerated display case.  She continued to stare as I pushed the cart toward the check-out.  The quickness of my gait no doubt betrayed my nervousness…and confirmed her doubts.

And then…and then…I happened to spot the display for Tampax   Without really thinking, I found my hand casually reaching for a super-sized box and dropping it in my cart.  A few more steps brought me to the check-out lane, and the stalker had vanished.

Of course, once I got home in the privacy of my bedroom, since I had paid for them, I had to try them out — using the only hole I had. I’ll mercifully spare you the details of my initial experimentation, but….

I became addicted.  I bought boxes and boxes of tampons, testing all makes and sizes.  I would go through five or six tampons a day. To feed my addiction, I bought tampons at any store that sold them, so that the clerks at my neighborhood grocery wouldn’t think I had some kind of serious gynecological problem.

For an anal sex virgin, as I was then, the Playtex “Gentle Glide” — yes, most especially the aptly named Gentle Glide! — provided perhaps the friendliest rectal dilator possible for bottom training.  It opened the way or primed the pump (which is the better metaphor?) for butt plugs and ever bigger dildos and, yes, of course, eventually, the real thing.

And more, so much more: I found that having a tampon inside of me, underneath my panties and hose, when I went out on a date made me feel so much more naturally, womanly receptive — for the real thing later that evening.  And just like a real woman getting ready for the real thing — before I would let his hard cock enter me — I would excuse myself to go quickly to the bathroom, to make myself ready.  After discreetly disposing of the tampon, I never felt so clean — my butt-pussy, that is.  But the moisture-absorbing tampon also made it feel unusually dry, of course, so I would always be prepared by bringing ample supplies of lubricant in my purse.

There!  Now you know just about all my dirty little secrets.

But not quite all….

About Joy Saint James

Day job in Big Banking. Elsewhere I'm @ScholarlySlut, whose essays and erotica have appeared in various print anthologies and websites. Email: joy.st.james@hotmail.com.

46 responses to “Dirty Little Secret

  1. OK. I didn’t expect ever to do this! But now, having read this story, I am sitting with a string hanging out of my bottom. After just 10 minutes I can say that it feels pretty damn good so far! And I may be imagining it, but perhaps it has added a certain wiggle to my walk? The sensation of having a tampax up there certainly makes me more conscious of my gait. Thanks for the intro to the concept.

    • Julie Lisa

      Yes I know the feeling you are talking about. I have been using tampons since my preteens and I know the addiction because I have the addiction. I now use tampons regularly up what I consider as my woman hole. I use a little water in a bulb syringe to shoot behind the tampon after insertion to soften and fully expand it inside me and that makes it more comfortable to have up my ‘vagina’. I use super and ultra sizes. The first ones I used years ago were the old Tampax with the heavy paper open top applicator. I had to learn how to insert them and had a difficult time the first time because I got too much Vaseline on my fingers. Over the years as tampons improved I went to Kotex brand when they had a plastic closed top applicator. They were easier to insert.up my ‘vagina’. I have also tried Playtex Gentle Glides and Tampax Pearl. And yes they do give my butt a bit of a wiggle with a tampon inserted. I get little rushes of femininity and womanliness thinking about the little white string hanging down from between my buttocks and a fully expanded tampon inside me. I use tampons regularly when I’m being a woman.

  2. What happened to my previous comment on this post?

  3. Oh, I can see it now. But it wasn’t visible until I asked my second comment.

  4. Rod Hunter

    Not being a trans gender woman, I never thought about using tampons as a training tool. For some reason I have always like anal sex. I started off with drum sticks. No, not chicken legs, actual drumsticks. Gentle glide, thin and smooth.
    I’ll have to give this a try and see how it goes, If I can do it w/o it changing my gait then I might just make a habit out of it.

  5. I finally did it! I went to the pharmacy today, put on my brave hat and bought my first tampons!
    I’m wearing one now. I couldn’t keep stealing my wife’s (I’ve only used 2 so far) as she will notice sooner or later.
    I have hidden mine in the back of her drawer. If she finds them she’ll just think she forgot about them, whereas if she found them in my drawer … Cunning or what? 🙂
    It feels so good!

  6. Maybe we’re starting a fad…trend….buzz…. Love it!!!
    Maybe we buy stock in Playtex now…before we’ve doubled their market!

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  35. That sounds to me like tampon fetish!

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  40. John

    OK I am not sure why but this is really um lets say stimulating! I just keep picturing this process and it is a lovely picture indeed!

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