10 Stupid John Tricks: A Pro’s Pet Peeves

sex worker1.  Like Congressman Weiner (still can’t believe his name!), sexting a picture of your penis…. As if girls care what it looks like! (“Feels like” is another matter.)

2. On the subject of Congress…. Lecturing me about how clever and sexy the House Republicans are.

3. Running my Wolford’s hosiery.

4. Wanting to wear my panties.

5.  Taking my panties with you as a souvenir.

6.  Screaming out your dog’s name when you cum (and we’re not even doing it doggie style).

7.  Telling me to play with a second-hand sextoy that you brought along.

8.  Taking the entire one-and-one-half-hour appointment to cum.

9. Complaining you’ll go limp if you have to wear a condom.

10. Texting your wife while I’m giving you the best head you’ve ever had.

About Joy Saint James

Day job in Big Banking. Elsewhere I'm @ScholarlySlut, whose essays and erotica have appeared in various print anthologies and websites. Email: joy.st.james@hotmail.com.

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